It's hard to keep your mouth closed
by stalinsorgasm
Summary: Dean gets attacked by a homophobic ghost on a case that he agreed to because Cas, who seems to hate him, was in the same town. Canon universe, set after 9x6. Coming out fic. Inspired by a post on Tumblr. Heavy Destiel. NC17/M for later chapters.
1. Dammit, Kevin

"Hey Dean, so get this…" Sam walked into the room, holding his way-too-expensive laptop. "There have been 6 heart attacks in the past few months, all in one neighborhood. Seems kinda strange."

"That's barely a case, they probably ate one too many big macs. We should try to work on the angel crap instead." Dean retorted.

"We've worked with less. Also, did I mention it's in Rexburg, Idaho?"

"Isn't that where Cas is staying?"

"Yeah."

Dean sighed, looked over at his younger brother and shook his head lightheartedly.

"Fine, fine, we'll check it out, and visit Cas as well." He absentmindedly grinned to himself and walked to kitchen, where he passed Kevin buried in a book. The prophet glanced up at Dean and chuckled to himself.

"Well, you're in a good mood." The prophet noted. "What are you so happy about?""

It's nothing." Dean brushed him off.

"Oh come on, I'm with you guys 24/7, I know when you're lying. What's the good news?"

"It's really nothing, it's just that Sam found a case in the same town that Cas is in. I haven't seen him in a while, so I'm just happy we'll be able to catch up."

"Yeah, catch up." He smirked. "If that's what you kids call it these days."

"Hey, I'm older than you!" Dean protested. "And what do you mean?"

"Come on. Dean. I'm a prophet. I can tell stuff about the people that the prophecies have anything to do with."

"And?"

"You think about Castiel all the time. Come, isn't it about time that you gave up on this womanizer persona of yours?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm straight as an arrow." He threw up his arms in disbelief. "And I don't think about Cas, we're just friends! Mind your own business or I'll tear you a new one!"

"Yeah. Sure. You need to translate the tablet. Anyway, you and Sam, go out and hunt some ghosts. I'll see if I can make any more sense of this."

"Yeah, you do that. And I am straight as an arrow!" He yelled to the prophet, with his back turned and walking out of the room.

* * *

"We got everything we need?" Dean called out to his younger brother, who was loading his duffle bag and backpack into the impala's trunk.

"Yeah. Are you ready to hit the road?"

"Sure. Should I text Cas to tell him we'll be in town?"

"Go ahead, we can totally visit him."

**1:26 PM 8/14/2013**

**hey cas, sam and i are gonna be in rexburg soon can we meet up?**

After a few minutes, the former angel responded.

_CASTIEL: 1:30 PM 8/14/2013_

_I would rather we didn't. I'm trying to put my former life behind me._

**1:31 PM 8/14/2013**

**woah cas, no one is dragging you back into hunting w/ us. i just want to catch up since we'll be in town.**

"Everything okay?" Sam inquired after a bit.

"Yeah, just give me as second!"

_CASTIEL: 1:33 PM 8/14/2013_

_Dean. Don't. I have a new life. I have a potential female that I'm interested in. Don't ruin this for me._

**1:33 PM 8/14/2013**

**lol im still not convinced ur into chicks. remember that time i caught you jerking off to a gay magazine you found**

_CASTIEL: 1:34 PM 8/14/2013_

_DEAN._

**1:35 PM 8/14/2013**

**chill dude. im not dragging u back into hunting. i just want to grab a drink and catch up.**

_CASTIEL: 1:36 PM 8/14/2013_

_No._

**1:37 PM 8/14/2013**

**whatever, im still going to be in rexburg if u change ur mind.**

"Dean? Hello?" Dean was so distracted by his conversation with Cas that he didn't hear his brother calling for him. "Anyone home?"

"Sorry. Lets get going. It's gonna take us forever to get there, Rexburg ain't near."


	2. Not funny, Sammy

Woo second chapter! I have a bunch of them ready, but I want to have a regular uploading schedule. I'll probably try to upload them every other day or every two days. If I'm busy then every three days. But yeah, even though this got about 70 views since I uploaded it, it's more than I thought it would be! Thank you -stalinsorgasm

EDIT: I edited some parts in this chapter to make it flow better with the others.

* * *

Dean held the crime scene tape above his head and ducked underneath. Sam quickly followed him, and they both made their way over to the victim's house. Once they reached the front porch, Sam took out his lock pick and started working on unlocking the door while Dean looked around to make sure no one was going to catch them. Once Sam was done, he opened the door and walked inside.

"Where did the girl die?" Dean inquired once they were in the hallway.

"In the living room. I'll check it out, you go see what's upstairs."

"Okay, but I'm sure there's nothing here. Just a heart attack, they happen."

"Can we maybe not fight about this right now? Let's just see if there's anything off."

Dean walked up the stairs, took out his EMF detector and started scanning the walls, furniture, and anything that the ghost could have touched. Once he reached a bookshelf, the EMF meter started making high pitched noises. He waved it around to pinpoint the source of the EMF, and landed on a small picture of Jesus.

"What the hell..." he muttered to himself. He heard a faint crashing noise coming from what he assumed was the bedroom. He took out his gun filled with rock salt and slowly started making his way towards the sound. Once he reached the room, he slowly pushed the door open. In it, he saw a regular bedroom with a king sized bed. Except for the several flags with rainbows on them. And a poster with "Idaho Pride" written on it in rainbow letters. He lowered his gun and walked over to the poster to examine it. While he was focused on the poster, a small movement caught his attention from the corner of his eye. He quickly whipped his head around and raised his gun, just in time to catch a glimpse of a figure dressed in black vanishing, and just before it, no, _he_ completely vanished, he saw his face. _What the fuck...?_ He thought. Too spooked to continue looking around, he decided to head down and see what Sam got.

"Did you find anything?" Dean's younger brother asked once they were out out of the house.

"Yeah, the EMF was going crazy around a picture of Jesus on a bookshelf."

"Huh, so the vic was religious?"

"Religious and gay."

"How do you know?" Sam had a slightly confused expression his face.

"Her bedroom-no, her and her girlfriend's bedroom was covered in rainbows. And there was a picture of them together on the nightstand."

"Huh. Religious, homosexual, and EMF around a religious piece." Sam mused. "Guess I was right. There really is a case here!"

"Yeah, whatever. She has a sister named Vicky. Looked hot from the pictures."

"Oh you."

* * *

"Kathy was so great." Vicky sobbed as she talked about her dead sister in monotone, as if she had rehearsed this. "I can't believe she's dead. She was just… so great. I don't know if I can get over this. She was so great."

"You've certainly said 'great' a lot." Chuckled Dean.

"Well, you, know, there was that whole gay thing. I never really got used to that."

"Ah, yes. I heard about that. Why was it a problem for you?"

"I just don't think it's natural. And her girlfriend almost died. It's obviously a sign from god."

"Don't you think god has better things to do?"

"Why are you defending her? She was a sinner!"

"She's your sister."

"Yeah, and I'm sad that she died, but I think it's meant to be this way."

Sam walked into the room and glanced over at Dean, who looked like was ready to tear Vicky's throat out.

"Everything okay here?" He cautiously inquired.

"Yeah, just peachy. Anyway, did your sister have any enemies?"

"She… she died from a heart attack… are you guys insane?"

"We like to explore every possibility." Dean stated with a charismatic smile.

"Um… I guess… she used to go to a church, but then the people there found out she was… well… you know, I don't think they parted on good terms. I really don't see how this can be a possibility..."

"Well, you know, we like to be thorough. Okay, well, thank you for your time, we'll stay in touch."

"Oh, you're leaving already?" She straightened her back and leaned forward to place her hand on Dean's bicep. "You know… if you're free at some point soon…"

Dean glanced over to her hand that was resting on his arm and stood up. He looked flustered, which is surprising for Dean-ladies-man-Winchester, and tried to give her his best apologetic smile.

"Oh, I, uh, I'm sorry… you know, work. Not much free time…" He stammered.

"I'm sure we can think of something." She gave him a sly smile.

"Look, I uh, um, I'm sorry but I… I'm kinda seeing someone." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sam looking surprised as ever.

"Oh, I had no idea," Sam butted into the conversation. "What's their name?"

"Uh, Cas… sie. Cassie."

"Oh, my mistake. Sorry." Vicky quickly showed them out the door.

Once they were out of the house, Sam quickly turned towards Dean.

"What the hell was that? First you rejected a desperate blonde, 'the best kind of blonde' in your opinion, then 'Cassie'? And when did you become all Mr. I Defend Homosexuality? Last time I checked I was the tolerant one. Dad raised you pretty bigoted."

"What, I didn't feel like it. So I used the first excuse that popped into my head. And Dad isn't around anymore."

"Yeah, but… 'Cassie'?"

"Shut up." He said, as they reached the impala. "You got anything from the mother?"

"Yeah. You know the Johnson guy? He was Kathy's friend that she met a pride parade. And that Allison Greene girl? Also a friend of Kathy's, also involved in the queer community."

"Wait so this ghost is going only after people who are gay? Sure, we encountered some strange things, but man, this is weird. Like, even for us weird!" Dean stated.

"Well, some ghosts have a type. I guess this is this guy's type."

"How sure are we that it's a ghost?"

"Pretty sure. There was the EMF was going crazy around the body, and the pattern seems very ghost like. Let's find out who this ghost was so that we can try and gank it."

"Great, another salt and burn. Lets get it over with and then I'll see Cas, and we can go back to the bunker."

They got into the car and started making their way to the motel they were staying in. On their way, they passed by a diner called Frontier Pies Restaurant.

"Dude, we need to stop by here!" Dean excitedly stated.

"Ugh, Dean, how about not today? You can take Cas on a date here though!"

Dean stared at his brother with an appalled expression on his handsome face.

"Dude. The fuck? Are you like one of those fangirls when the Supernatural books were a thing? They, uh, what was the expression… boated us?"

"I believe it was ship."

"Yeah, that."

"It was just a joke, no need to defend your masculinity! And the Cassie... oh, whatever, never mind."

"Yeah right. And that was just a random name that popped into my head. I used to date a Cassie, remember?"

* * *

Wooooo! Chapter two is done! I hope you guys enjoy it, I'll post the next chapter very soon. Oh, and if you find any errors or ways I could revise the story, please tell me! -stalinsorgasm


	3. Thank you, Cas

"Hey, Dean, so get this..." Sam got up from his chair near the motel window, with his laptop in his hands. He started going on about something, but Dean was too distracted, too busy staring at his phone. He heard something about ghosts and reverends, but after a while he stopped listening.

"That's great, Sammy," Dean said distractedly while staring at his phone.

"Dean, are you even listening? Are you okay? You've been off ever since we got here."

"Yeah, I'm okay, just… Okay, I'm gonna ask you a question. Just… don't ask who it's about?"

"Dean." Sam pulled his little bitchface.

"Sammy."

"Fine. Shoot."

"Okay, well… what do you, uh, do if you want to fix things with someone but they don't want you to fix them?"

Sam stared at him for what seemed like forever. Suddenly his face softened and he looked suspiciously understanding.

"This… this is about Cas, isn't it?" He gently questioned. "Aw man, did he leave because you two had a fight?"

"Hey, you promised you wouldn't question it! And it's not about Cas!"

"Ugh, fine. Look, if you care about someone, then you, um, keep trying, I guess. Don't give up on them; let them know how much they mean to you. Okay, let's say it's someone that you love - In a, not platonic way, I guess - you've got to make sure that they know how you feel. You get me? "

"Oh… thanks. I didn't think you would actually give me advice."

"Yeah, sure, any time, I guess? So… who _is_ it about?"

"Dude, you said you wouldn't ask anything! This is getting to chick-flicky. Bitch." Dean protested.

"Jerk. Since when do you talk about your feelings?"

"It's not about my feelings! I just, you know..."

"Don't want to ruin your relationship with someone? Aww, do you have a girlfriend I don't know about? Oh, is it that woman we saved last week from the vampires?"

"Shut up, this job doesn't allow relationships."

"Whatever. I'll tell you what I found out about the ghost when you're less distracted, okay?"

"Thanks."

Dean stayed silent and completely still for a few minutes, staring at his phone. After a while he seemed to come out of his trance, so he got up and walked outside.

"Where are you going?" Sam called after him.

"I'm gonna make a phone call, I'll be back in a minute."

He walked fairly far from their motel room to make sure he wouldn't get overheard by his brother. Quickly, he dialed a phone number and called. After a few rings, Cas picked up.

"_Dean."_

Dean didn't, couldn't reply, too shocked by the fact that Cas had actually picked up.

_"Dean, are you there? Are you okay?"_

"Yeah, Cas, I'm fine. Just, uh… worried. About you, I mean."

_"I didn't think you'd call."_

"I didn't think you'd pick up."

Silence.

"_What do you need?" _Cas finally replied.

"To apologize again."

_"You already did, when you dropped me off at the Gas N Sip after kicking me out for no apparent reason and not even helping me get a motel."_

"Cas…"

_"Dean?"_

"I'm really sorry. Look, I care about you, and I don't want this to end up like every other friendship I've had. And after I, uh, kicked you out, I was broken up about it for weeks. But I had my reasons."

"_Yeah, what were they exactly? You never told me."_

"I can't say, I promised not to say. But if we meet up I can try to explain."

After what seemed like forever, he got a response.

_"Maybe. I'll text you if I'm free at any point soon. Might not happen though."_

"Thank you so much! I really want to make this right."

_"Look, I gotta go."_

"Yeah, uh, go."

Dean heard Cas hanging up his phone. He stayed still for a few minutes, a hint of a smile creeping onto his face. After a while, he decided to head back to his motel room.

"What did you want to tell me about the ghost guy?" He asked his brother once he stepped into their room.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Focus, Sammy, focus. The case?"

"Right, well, I did research on the vics, and, get this, they all used to go to the same church."

"Okay…"

"And they all got kicked out. So, I checked who in the church died around when the first guy died. I narrowed it down to two candidates." He turned his laptop around and showed Dean two news articles. Dean focused on one of them, and suddenly realized that the man in the picture is the figure he saw back at the lesbian couple's house.

"It's Reverend Francis."

"How do you know?" Sam asked, clearly surprised.

"Saw him at the lesbian's house."

"And… you never mentioned that?"

"Guess I forgot."

"Alright, well, says here he died from a heart attack. At a pride parade. Anyway, you, go to a bar or strip club or something, I'll try to find out where he's buried."

"Nah, don't feel like it."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just don't feel like going out. Now, you go do your research. I know you get off on it. I'll probably just hang out here."

* * *

Two days later, after burning the reverend's bones the night before, Dean woke up to his brother shaking him awake.

"Go away!" He muttered into his pillow.

"Dean! Get up!"

"It's the crack of dawn" He stated as he glanced over to his alarm clock, which read 8:47 AM.

"_Dean!_ We didn't kill the ghost!" Sam yelled in Dean's ear.

At that, Dean immediately woke up.

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah. Another heart attack. Healthy person. Gay. In the same neighborhood."

"Great. Must be tied down to something besides its bones." Dean grumbled.

"Wait… the Jesus picture back at the house. How big was it?"

"I don't know, small? Why?"

"So it could be carried around easily? Like, in a pocket?" Sam continued to question his brother.

"Yeah I guess-wait. Are you implying that the Jesus picture is what he's tied down to? Great, talk about obsessed with religion."

* * *

Aaaah, sorry guys, but I'm probably going to end up posting closer to once-twice (maybe thrice) per week. Maybe I could do it on Tuesdays! That would be so cool.

I have like 7-8 chapters thought out, but I need to revise a lot of them to make the story flow, and i need to fill in a lot plot holes. Anyway, please contact me if there are any grammatical problems with the story (English is_ kind of_ my second language), or if there are inconsistencies that I overlooked. Thanks!

-stalinsorgasm


	4. You really don't have to, Cas

Holy crap, chapter four! I had a really bad knee injury yesterday so I couldn't write anything, but wow I finished this chapter quicker than I expected. I decided to change the genre to Angst/Hurt/Comfort, mostly because of this chapter. If I can't write in any more Hurt/Comfort, I will change it to Angst/Romance. Wooo! Enjoy!

-stalinsorgasm

* * *

Sam bent down and got out his lock pick, while Dean was looking around nervously to make sure no one was coming. Within minutes, the back door opened and they stepped inside.

"I'll take upstairs, you search this floor" Sam quietly ordered Dean.

"Uh, I was thinking it might be a, um, better idea to stay together?" Dean said tensely.

"Dude, neither of us is gay, the ghost can't hurt us."

"Hah, speak, for yourself, Sammy." He tried a weak joke.

"This isn't a good time for fooling around, Dean. Let's just find the picture and burn it."

Sam disappeared up the stairs, leaving Dean alone with a homophobic ghost on the loose.

He walked into the living room and started searching through the drawers and bookshelves. He reached up to check on a taller shelf.

He was flung across the room and slammed into a wall.

"Sa-!" He tried to yell for his brother, but Reverend Francis had him pinned against a wall. The ghost reached forward and started choking the hunter. Dean's heartbeat sped up and he started sweating.

"I don't like it when fags try to take my Jesus away from me." The ghost calmly stated. "God knows you're a sinner." He ended his sentence with a punch.

Dean was flung across the room and he landed on something sharp. He looked down and saw that his back was bleeding. The deceased reverend bent down and grabbed his neck, pulling him up.

"Hey!"

The ghost let go of Dean and turned around to look at the source of the voice.

"Stay away from my brother!" Sam yelled and shot the ghost with rock salt.

* * *

Dean wasn't in the best condition ever. For Christ's sake, the ghost slammed him into walls and (literally) almost gave him a heart attack!

"So… you wanna talk about what happened back there?" Sam inquired as he patched up his brother's back.

"Look, I just got beaten up by a reverend. He gave me a friggin' black eye. I'm not quite in the sharing and caring mood." Dean took a swig of his whisky.

"But I have never seen you go for men. Why would the ghost attack you when all of the victims were gay?"

"I don't know! Maybe I pissed the ghost off, I don't know!" Dean snapped.

"Dean..."

"Can you please just drop it?"

"It's not healthy to keep your emotions pent up like that! Enough of avoiding the topic, what the hell is wrong with you? You've been zoning out and acting all irritable ever since I mentioned this case and it's driving me crazy, Dean! Just talk to me!"

Dean fixed him with icy stare, and after a few moments of awkward silence he sighed and quietly muttered "I told you it's better to just drop it." He got up from his bed, threw on his leather jacket, grabbed the keys to his baby, and hastily walked out of the motel room.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"It's none of your business!"

* * *

Dean loudly exhaled and turned the engine off. He slowly opened the door of his baby and walked over to the sliding doors of the Gas N Sip. He paused for just a few moments, trying to decide if he would regret it tomorrow. _Oh what the hell, I do need to talk to him._ He opened the door and, just like last time, he got in line.

"Got any pie?" He tried to fake bravado.

Cas jumped at the sound of his voice. The former angel looked up at the flustered yet cheeky man in front of him, and something close to a blush entered the former angel's face.

"D-Dean, you really can't do that anymore." He snapped. "I'm trying to live a normal life. And what the hell happened to you, why do you look like you had a fight with a blender?"

"Oh, you know, got beaten up by a reverend 'cause I'm so gay." Dean said matter-of-factly.

Cas tilted his head.

"It's, uh, you know, the case that I'm working. Look, can we talk in private?"

"You're the one who sent me away!" Cas yelled a little too loudly. "And you expect me to just talk to you like nothing happened? I know I said I would think about it, but I really can't!" Everyone in the room turned and stared at him. The former angel didn't care, he was fuming.

_Dammit, this isn't going as I planned!_ Dean started panicking. His heartbeat sped up. He _needed_ to find a way to make the former angel listen to his apology.

"Dean, please just leave-" Castiel was interrupted by Dean grabbing the back of his neck, pulling the former angel towards him and gently leaning in to kiss him. Cas automatically closed his eyes, even though this was the last thing that he expected the hunter to do and the former angel was extremely surprised.

The ex-angel's lips were as soft as Dean had always imagined. His hand moved up from the counter separating them and rested on Cas's waist. Castiel lifted his own hand and placed it on Dean's other hand, still on the counter.

After a few moments, Dean abruptly pulled away and staggered back, almost colliding with a customer. Immediately they both become aware of the hostile glares from the people in the room.

"Sorry, Cas, I… I don't know what came over me." He kept backing away from Cas, with repulsed customers glaring at both the tall hunter and the shorter dark haired ex-angel. "I-It won't happen again, I'm sorry!"

"Wait, Dean… why?"

"You know, after you get beaten up by a homophobic reverend, it's kind of pointless to try to hide who you are."

"I meant why won't it happen again?"

Dean stared at the former angel.

"Since when did you get so smooth?" Dean smirked.

"Maybe you are correct, we should talk in private." Cas turned to his coworker, a pretty blonde eating a sandwich near the checkout. After a few moments of quiet conversation, the woman nodded and took over the cash register.

"We have five minutes" He said to Dean as he walked around the counter. "Kate was on her break, but she agreed to cover for me."

"Do you, uh, want to talk in my car?"

"That seems acceptable.

Once they were out of the convenience store and near the impala, Dean reached for his keys and after a few moments of nervous fumbling, he opened the car doors and they got in.

Once they were in the car, Dean winced at the pressure of the driver's seat against his back.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Castiel looked at Dean and his face softened with understanding.

"Dean, you're hurt. Badly."

"I'm fine."

"You're hurt both emotionally and physically."

"Hey, you're human, you're not allowed to do that!"

"Do what?"

"Do such a good job at reading me."

After a short silence, Castiel moved over to Dean's side wrapped his arm around the hunter's shoulder.

"You don't have to comfort me."

"No. You're hurt and I don't have my grace, at least I can do this." He placed his other hand on Dean's waist and leaned forward to gently kiss the hunter on the temple. Dean leaned into the embrace and they stayed like that, silent and comfortable, until their five minutes were up.

* * *

Please review! Also, Im searching for a beta, so if anyone is interested...


	5. Shut up, Sam

I went to a sports clinic today to get my joints checked out, and I've been diagnosed with generalized hypermobility :/ my ligaments are too stretchy to support my joints, so I have to do specific exercises every day woowee. But yeah, I had a lot written for this chapter for a while, but because I changed so many things in the story since my first draft, I had to revise it a lot. Hope you like it, the next chapter is gonna be _juicy_

_-_stalinsorgasm

* * *

After slowly making his way over to the motel, Dean parked his impala in the lot. He closed his eyes, thinking of the way Cas relaxed into Dean's unexpected kiss. As an angel, Castiel usually looked like his lips were pretty chapped. Perhaps he, like Sam and his expensive ways, started using lip balm.

Dean has never been open with his feelings. Sure, he was pretty straightforward with sexual advances on desperate women and heart to hearts with his brother. But he never opened up about anything that happened before John died, and kissing Cas was the closest thing.  
John was pretty religious his whole life. His idea of a perfect man was what he was - at least what he was after Mary's death - commanding, masculine, scared of emotions, straight. He especially kept a tight hold on Dean, but whenever either of his boys strayed from his idea of manliness, he made sure to set them straight - in Dean's case, literally.

Dean sighed and got out of his car. Once he made his way to his motel room, he unlocked the door and stepped in.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Sam instantly yelled.

"Relax, I'm fine."

"You have a dislocated shoulder, a black eye, and a wound on your back. You're in no shape to be going out!"

"I'm okay, really."

"Well, I'm glad you are." Sam sat down on his twin bed and motioned to the one across from him. "Sit. We need to talk about what happened earlier today."

Dean slowly exhaled and sat down on his motel bed. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his legs and covered his face with his hands. After a few moments of awkward silence, he sighed and looked up at Sam, who was just standing there, fixing his older brother with an ice cold stare.

"So, uh, you gonna stare at me like that for a long time?" Dean said with faked bravado.

"Look, Dean, I can't force you to talk. But you're my brother, nothing you can say can make me feel different about you."

"Hah, yeah, well, I doubt that."

"Look, we _need_ to talk about this. We need to know why the ghost attacked you. It's either because there's something we missed - in which case we need to look into it as soon as possible - or because there's something you're not telling me, which I doubt, since you've been hitting on any girl that moves your whole life, but the way you're acting kinda says otherwise."

Dean's facial expression changed into something much more solemn and serious. He leaned forward, placing his hands on the back of his head and loudly exhaling.

After quite some time had passed he looked up at his younger brother.

"So… you're really not going to leave me alone until I tell you?" He questioned.

"Just please tell me, I'm worried about you."

Dean stayed silent for a few moments before inhaling and speaking up.

"Okay, well… you know how Dad raised me?"

"Yeah, he raised you to be his soldier."

"Exactly. Which means acting exactly like him, unless of course it means being to commanding with him."

"Oh, Dean, you're not saying what I think you're saying…"

"Shut it, let me finish." He took a deep breath to calm himself. "One time in 8th Grade there was this kid in my class… he and I went out for a bit. Until Dad found out. He tore me a new one."

"Wait so… you're not straight? You're 34, why am I finding out about this now?"

"Let me finish my story, you're the one who pressured me into coming out!"

"Continue."

"So, after dad tore me a new one, he lectured me about how a real man goes after girls. I _never_ tried anything with a guy again. Because I thought it was something to be ashamed of. Then, we, you know, met Charlie. She doesn't know about me, but she helped me become more accepting of who I am, which is not an emotionless machine that follows dad's orders."

Dean suddenly came out of his daze, and cleared his throat.

"But, you know, Dad's dead. Um, I guess I'm finally ready to acknowledge that he was wrong about a lot of things."

"Dean, I had no idea."

"It's okay."

"Dean." Sam looked at him sternly, "It's perfectly fine. You're my big brother, this doesn't make me think any less of you. But what I do want to know is how you managed to never act on your feelings."

"Trust me, when you get it into your head that it's wrong and something to be ashamed of, it becomes easy. Well, not easy, but doable."

Sam stood up, chuckled slightly, and scratched the back of his head. "Want me to get you a beer?"

"Thanks, I'd like that." Dean smiled with relief.

"Oh, and by the way, I have another question, if you don't mind me asking." He grinned mischievously.

"Sure, lay it on me."c

"Where does Castiel fit in all of this?"

At that Dean turned tomato red. His mouth slightly fell open.

"Cas? Cas is um. He's uh…" He stammered. "Cas is just a friend."

"Yeah, a friend. You know, before I knew all that stuff about you, I assumed it was some weird dragged-out-of-hell-bond thing, but now that I think about it, you've got it bad for the guy!" He laughed.

"That's not true!"

"Oh really? You have constant eye sex with him, whenever he's around you get all jumpy and flustered, you stand extremely close together and you don't seem to mind as much as if someone else did the same, and did I mention that Cas is the only reason you're in this town?"

"Dude, Cas isn't the reason for me coming here!" He exclaimed indignantly.

"Oh really? And you came here why… because of the case? It's just a couple of heart attacks."

At that Dean's mouth fell completely open and he looked around in shock.

"Wait so… Are you trying to say that the only reason why you dragged me along here was so that I could see Cas? Which I didn't."

"Well, I kinda want him to come back to the bunker."

"So the case is just a coincidence?"

"Oh, no, I knew there was a case here. I have connections."

"Well, I still don't like Cas in that way."

"Are you going to talk to him though? About coming back?"

"Maybe." Dean replied.

Sam chuckled. Suddenly, his back straightened, and a blue shine entered his eyes.

"Dean, you cannot see Cas." Ezekiel ordered.

"Oh, well, hello to you too Zeke. How's my brother doing?"

"You cannot go to see Cas again."

"Wait… again? So… You know about what happened with me and Cas?"

"No. But I do know that you went to see him."

"Does Sam know?"

"No."

"Well, you should talk to him soon." Suddenly it was Sam again. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Oh, yeah, just thinking. You know, now that I'm out, I can start wearing rainbows."

"Very funny. So, are you, uh, not into women? I'm just curious, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

"Nah, I still like boobs."

"Dean, Dean, still your overly objectifying self."

"Shut up."

Sam got up from his bed and made his way to the kitchen to see what there was to eat.

"Hey, Dean, there's no food left!"

"Order something!"


	6. Marry me, Cas

I'm sorry I didn't post anything in a while! I wanted to get it proofread and I was out of town aah. Hugehugehugehugehuge thanks to catbean715 for proofreading! And thank you to everyone who reviewed it, it means a lot! Keep the follows, favorites, and reviews coming, it motivates me to write more!

-stalinsorgasm

* * *

_CASTIEL: 7:04 PM 8/21/2013_

_Are you still in town?_

**7:06 PM 8/21/2013**

**yeah why?**

_CASTIEL: 7:07 PM 8/21/2013_

_Are you feeling better?_

_CASTIEL: 7:08 PM 8/21/2013_

_Your injuries, I mean._

**7:09 PM 8/21/2013**

**yeah sam n i are taking a short break from the case, but im feeling better today. why?**

Dean waited for a reply, and just as he put his phone back in his pocket to take another sip of his beer, Cherry Pie started playing, and Dean smiled because that was his ringtone for Cas. "Hello?"

"_Hello Dean."_

"Hey, Cas. Are you okay?"

"_Look, Dean, I would really like to talk about what happened. Are you free today?"_

"It's kind of late-"

"_If you can't, that's totally fine. We can do this another time."_

"Cas."

"_Dean?"_

"I was going to say it's kind of late, but we can definitely talk. I'm at a bar right now, can you come here or should I meet you somewhere?"

"_Thank you. Although I would rather we did this somewhere quieter."_

"What do you have in mind?"

"_There's this pie restaurant-"_

"Pie? Marry me, Cas."

"_Uh… I thought you weren't ready to settle down?"_

"Figure of speech."

"_Oh."_

"Yeah. So what's the address?"

"_460 West 4th South. I'm there right now."_

"Well, aren't you an optimistic one."

"_I don't understand, I would consider myself more pessimistic than average."_

"I meant because you knew I… never mind, I'll be there in 10."

* * *

As Dean pulled over into the parking lot and locked his car, he caught a glimpse of Castiel sitting in a booth and nervously fidgeting. After a few moments of looking at the former angel, Dean loudly sighed and walked into the diner. He slowly made his way over to Cas's table and sat down.

"Dean." Cas said carefully with an undertone of nervousness.

"Cas." Dean replied.

A waitress came over to them with the menu. "Anythin' I can get you, love?" She asked Cas, slightly bending down so that she revealed her cleavage to the dark haired man.

Dean isn't the jealous type, but this was too much. He and Cas were supposed to sort out their problems and figure out where they stood with each other, but the waitress was making it difficult.

"I'll have the apple pie." Dean said, with just a tad more hostility than he intended.

The waitress looked over to him, straightened her back, and wrote it down. "And as for you…?" She turned back to Cas, this time taking the hint from Dean and not trying to flirt with the dark haired man.

"I will have the same, thank you." He answered her, while keeping his eyes on Dean.

"Relax, dude, I'm not going to kiss you again." He chuckled. At that, the waitress, looked

at both of them, shook her head, and ran off.

"I am not worried about that."

"Oh, so you wouldn't mind me kissing you again?"

The former angel sighed. He looked down at the table, and after a few moments he looked back up and stared straight into the hunter's eyes. "Why did you do it, Dean? Why did you send me away?" He calmly inquired.

"Sam was hurt. And trust me, I know it's not your fault, but the angels don't."

"So you think that sending me out, unprotected, human, is safer than letting me stay in a _warded _place, where you are protected?"

"Cas… look, I'm going to come clean. Do you remember I mentioned Ezekiel?"

"Yes…" A wary look entered Cas's face. "Dean, what did you do?"

"I let him posses Sam."

At that, Castiel went into a stunned silence. "How did you get Sam to agree?"

"We tricked him. Listen, I felt really bad for kicking you out, but Zeke said it was necessary. Sammy was dying, Cas. I couldn't let him die."

"We could have figured something out."

"I know." He reached across the table and placed his hand on Cas's. The former angel seemed to relax at the touch. "But Sam is better. He can defend himself, and so can Zeke. You can come back, Cas. We'll be 'team free will' again."

"You could have told me about the possession. I could have helped." Castiel interlocked his fingers with the hunter's. "But I understand. Your brother was dying, but I don't get why Ezekiel would say something like that. We fought together."

Dean got up from his side of the booth, walked over to Cas's side, motioned for him to move over, and sat down. "It's not important now. You're coming back, even if he says you shouldn't." Dean moved closer and wrapped his arm around the former angel's shoulder. Castiel smiled in a way that went straight to the hunter's pants.

Cas looked down at Dean's lips and absentmindedly licked his own. He moved his right hand to the hunter's jaw, and gently leaned in. As their lips touched, they both closed their eyes to enjoy each other without the distractions of their busy surroundings. Dean moved his hand to the former angel's hip and slid his fingertips underneath the dark haired man's white button-up shirt that was obviously part of his uniform at the Gas N' Sip. Their heads tilted slightly to make it easier for them to access each other's mouths. Dean's tongue lightly brushed the former angel's lips, and Castiel subtly parted them to allow the hunter to access the inside of his mouth.

Cas slid his hand down the buff hunter's body. His fingertips brushed against Dean's growing erection, which sent a new wave of heat to the hunter's lower stomach. "Fuck, Cas…" Dean moaned into Cas's mouth.

The former angel rested his hand on the hunter's inner thigh, his thumb making subtle circles excruciatingly close to his dick.

"Dammit, Cas, we're in public." He whispered as he pulled away. "Let's get out of here."

He turned around and spotted their waitress. He called her over. "Can we get those pies to go instead?"

"Sure." She glanced at the two men sitting next to each other, Cas's hand still on Dean's thigh. "Pies will be done in 15 minutes, please wait up front."

The two men got up, grabbed their coats, and walked over to the checkout. While they were waiting, Dean slipped his hand underneath Cas's white button-up and rested his hand on the former angel's waist. The ex-angel moved closer to Dean and gently placed his palm on the hunter's left shoulder, where he long ago left a handprint. "Dean..." He whispered in the tall man's ear. "Promise me you'll never send me away again."

"I promise." Just as he said that, he felt a hand on his shoulder shove him away from Cas.

"What are you doing, you faggot?" A gruff voice growled from behind him. Dean turned around and saw two buff men looking extremely displeased. "You fucking sinner."

"Woah, woah, let's not resort to violence." Dean cautiously replied.

"Fuck you, you stupid fairy." The second man spat at him. The man turned to Cas and roughly shoved him. Dean instantly jumped in between them.

"Hey, don't touch him!"

"Or what, you'll slap me? Shut up, you fag."

Dean drew his hand back to deliver a punch, but Castiel gently placed a hand on the hunter's shoulder. "Look, we're not trying to cause any trouble." Cas calmly stated. "Let's just part ways and forget this ever happened."

"Fuck that, you pussies are just scared."

"Who you calling a pussy?" Dean growled and stepped forward.

"Dean, let's just go." Cas pulled the hunter back and started walking out of the diner with Dean following him. Once they got to the Impala, Dean rested his elbows on the car roof and buried his face in his hands.

"Are you alright?" Cas gently inquired.

"Yeah, it's just, well… I sort of lived the majority of my life thinking that my urges were wrong, and, uh, when I finally accept myself, douchebags like that try to convince me that it actually is wrong." He took a deep breath to steady himself. "It's just difficult."

"You know, as a being who has been around for almost forever, I have seen many things, and to me human sexuality seemed so insignificant. I still do not understand why someone would pay so much time and attention to labeling themselves and others. My father never cared about something as unimportant as whether you're 'gay' or 'straight'. I don't think I will ever get it."

Dean turned towards Cas, grabbed him but his hips, pulled him closer, and leaned in. Once their lips touched each other, Castiel placed one hand on the hunter's neck, and the other on his shoulder. He moved his hand up to the back of Dean's head and gently pulled on his hair. The hunter moaned and parted his lips, and Castiel could taste a slight hint of alcohol in Dean's mouth as he slipped his tongue in.

"You're cold, you're shivering." Dean stated with a smile when he pulled away after a few minutes. "Here, take my jacket."

"Thanks." Castiel pulled Dean in for a passionate kiss once he put on the hunter's jacket. After a few moments, Dean pulled away.

"I'm going to take you back to the motel room that Sam and I are staying in. You and I can share a bed, I'll try to explain it to Sam."

"Thank you."


	7. Shut up, Zeke

ok wow I am so sorry for not posting sooner! I was hoping to make this chapter longer, but I was really busy and out of the country for a bit. But I hope you guys like it, I'll try to post new stuff soon! Also, if you see any mistakes, pls bring them to my attention! ty!

-stalinsorgasm/hitlersmenstrualcycle (I changed my tumblr url)

* * *

"Wait, so you saw Cas?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah." Replied Dean with caution.

"And you convinced him to come back?"

"Uh, yeah."

Castiel looked up from where he was sitting in a chair. "If it bothers you I can leave."

"No, it doesn't bother me," Sam quickly stated. "I'm just ... surprised it happened so quickly. You can definitely stay. "

Dean clapped his hands together and gave his brother an innocent smile. "Well, now that that's all sorted out, Sam, can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

Sam nodded and the two brothers walked outside. Once the door to the motel was closed, Sam crossed his arms and looked at Dean. "What's up?"

"So, uh, you know how you asked me about whether I had feelings for Cas?" Dean rubbed the back of his head. "And how I said I didn't?"

"Oh god."

"Yeah."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and frowned. "Okay, that's it." He said firmly. "No more secrets. Tell me _everything_."

Dean sighed and looked away. He knew it was going to come to this. His brother wouldn't stop pestering him until Dean confessed to everything. "I kinda ... went to see him the day when I got beaten up by the reverend ghost."

"And?"

"I kissed him."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"How did he react?" Sam inquired after a few moments of silence.

"Not as bad as I expected."

"So now you guys are ...?"

"I don't know. I guess I kinda really care about him, but this is kinda new territory for me. I want to try, I think. To make it work. "

"Well, you do know that you have my full support, right?" Sam asked. "I'm not like dad."

"Yeah, I know that."

"Right, well, we still need to finish the case, and we're kinda tight on money, so where is Cas gonna sleep?"

"It's all cool, he can share my bed." Dean grinned.

"And you're both ... comfortable with that?"

"I never really thought I'd feel this way, but ... yeah, I guess. At least I am. "

"That's good."

"Yeah."

Dean nervously shifted. After a few moments of silence, he finally said, "Well, this has been awkward and uncomfortable."

Sam's eyes flashed a bright blue and his demeanor changed into an angry one. "You talked to him. After I told you not to. "Ezekiel snapped. "Do you have any idea how much danger you're putting your brother in?"

"So it's either gain extra help or leave Cas alone without any protection? You know, I'm really starting to doubt your intent. "Dean said angrily.

"You have a choice to save your brother but instead you're sacrificing him for that self righteous sap who is the reason me and my brothers fell."

"I'm not sacrificing my brother! We can all protect ourselves. "

"We will talk about this again."

"Yeah, definitely." Sam agreed. To Dean's previous statement. "We should go back in."

"Yeah." Dean said, detached.

The two brothers walked back into their motel room, to find Cas dozing off while sitting in a chair at a small desk.

"Aw, he looks like a little angel when he's sleeping. I guess it is kinda late, for him, probably. "Dean said, glancing at his watch that read 11:29 PM. _Time really does fly when you're busy explaining your feelings towards your best friend to your brother,_ he thought.

"I'm gonna take a shower, you should wake him up and move him to your bed." Sam stated. "No sex in the room!" He called to Dean as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Dean walked closer to Cas, stopping to admire how peaceful he looked. He has only seen the former angel sleep once, maybe twice. He was never that close to him before though. He couldn't see how his wrinkle lines smoothed out, how he didn't look like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He gently reached out and tucked a strand of hair (He definitely needs a haircut, Dean thought) behind the fallen angel's ear. "Hey, Cas, wake up." He quietly tried to wake dark haired man. Cas stirred a bit and lifted his hand to try to swat away Dean's.

"Cas, we need to get you into something more comfortable and into my bed." He stated.

"Fine." Castiel grumbled and rubbed his eyes as he sat up.

"Why are you tired so early?" Dean gently questioned as he went over to his duffel bag to take out an old grey t-shirt and some black sweatpants.

"I usually have the early morning shift at the Gas N 'Sip. I quickly learned that I need a good amount of sleep in order to function."

Dean brought over the clothes and motioned for cas to take his shirt off. After a few moments of Castiel fumbling with the buttons and failing to get his white button up shirt off, Dean stepped closer and slowly undid the fallen angel's buttons. After getting Cas's shirt off, the hunter ran his hands down the fallen angel's torso. Castiel looked down at Dean's hands, which were now resting on the surprisingly muscular fallen angel's hips, and then at Dean's lips. The hunter stepped even closer and brushed his lips against Cas's. The fallen angel instantly opened up to the kiss and placed his hands on the hunter's shoulders. The hunter opened his mouth slightly and brushed his tongue gently along Castiel's lips. The latter opened his mouth and Dean slid his tongue into Cas's mouth. They stayed like that for quite a bit, not noticing the shower being turned off, tasting and feeling each other. The hunter pulled on the shorter man's hips to pull him even closer. Dean pulled away a bit from the kiss found the fallen angel's neck, leaving kisses on his jawline. He bit down gently, eliciting a moan from Cas, and right at that moment they didn't notice the bathroom door open and Sam stepping out in sweatpants and an old t-shirt.

"Uh, guys?" He said after clearing his throat loudly.

Dean and Cas sprang apart from each other. Dean's cheeks turned a dark red, and he quickly started searching through his duffel bag for clothes to sleep in. "I was just, uh, trying to help him with his shirt." He mumbled.

"Yeah, that was pretty obvious." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Look, I completely support you guys, but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with you two fooling around in here. Can you guys just, I don't know, wait until we get back to the bunker?"

Dean quickly mumbled an apology and rushed into the bathroom. Cas put on the clothes that Dean gave him and hurriedly climbed into Dean's bed and covered himself in blankets, avoiding looking at Sam.

"You okay, Cas?" Sam gently inquired. "I'm sorry about earlier, but it would be the same for anyone else who'd be in a relationship with my brother." After a short pause, he added, "you guys are in a relationship, right?"

Cas finally made eye contact with Sam, who was moving towards his own bed. "I don't know. We didn't really talk about it that much. "

"Well, as someone who knows Dean really well - although not as well as I assumed, apparently - I don't think you should ask him about it until we at least get back to the bunker. Give him time to think it through, adjust to the fact that's he's, well ... "Sam gestured to Cas. "You know, with a man."

"Uh, thank you, Sam, I guess. I'll keep that in mind."

Right at that moment, Dean came out of the shower wearing a towel. "Look away, Sammy, I gotta get changed." He grinned as he made his way to his duffel bag.

"What about me-" Cas started saying but was silenced by a wink from Dean. Sam rolled his eyes at them and started staring at his laptop.

Dean took off his towel and slightly bent forward, looking through his bag for his clothes. Cas's breath hitched as Dean's butt was in full view. He felt his cheeks heat up, and he felt a wave of disappointment when the hunter put on his pants and tank top.

Dean climbed into his bed, where Cas was already wrapped in blankets. He leaned forward and whispered into the former angel's ear, "look, I'm sorry, I haven't really, um ... slept with another dude before. I'm sorry if I'm super awkward. "

Cas answered by moving closer and resting his head on the hunter's chest. Dean wrapped his arm around Cas's body and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. They both drifted off to sleep soon after Sam had turned off the lights and climbed into his own bed.


End file.
